Learn from your betrayals

The most crucial takeaway from experiencing a betrayal is that one has lived! And it teaches you a lot of things if you keep your heart and mind open. Trust is not a ‘thing’ that is given. It’s a process. Crappy things that happen, allow one to fix that process and channel one’s trust in the right direction. It’s a hard way to learn. But that’s life, we must experience the shit to value those who matter.

Creative Destruction

There is something called ‘creative destruction’. Where an organism is destroyed or bought to its knees, just so that it can claw its way back up. When the survival instincts kick in, one does what ‘needs’ to, and not one ‘wants’ to, to get back into the game. If the organism gets this, and can see the original flaws, it begins to start repairing what has been ruptured and what caused it to fall. And if indeed it does so, it emerges much more stronger than before.

Creative destruction, is sometimes self applied, sometimes the universe, takes it upon itself to do it for you. Many a times, businesses survive not because their growth is linear. But because they continuously self destruct and relook at things internally to attack external variables and to protect itself against the offensive onslaught. There is a sort of continuous evolution.

How is this creative destruction? Imagine something that functions fabulously, what do you do? Hang on to it forever? Nope, you come out with better and more better versions, thus creatively destroying the original fabulous thing. That’s creatively destroying oneself. If one has to grow, strengthen, very very important to keep the process of ‘creative destruction’ on. #aamaadmiparty #keepevolving #beingrelevant

How much do you save on tea?

Garbage served to employees in the name of coffee and cost efficiency. How much do companies really save by serving machine made flavourless stuff? When you add back the social costs, the time lost in going to the tupri to get a cutting, the loss due to dissatistfaction one feels after drinking this, the sense of disloyalty that enters the mind when a company where you slog for 8 hours can’t even offer you one good cup of tea or two, what is really saved in costs? Not much. But what you can’t see you don’t bother about. What you can see is, an extremely cheap cup of coffee. That’s saving cash. And it does not matter that it’s destroying value.

Learn to give it back!

Being nice is hygiene. But being nice is not a synonym for being a doormat. It’s ok to take your tongue out for a good word lashing on someone, when someone crosses that line.  Don’t fear. Use that fantastic piece of equipment ferociously when needed.  Don’t think – let it go. NO.

Every time a line is crossed with you, and you don’t respond appropriately, you are raising the threshold level higher for people to do what they want. And you won’t even know it.

Disrespect and abuse is sometimes very very insidious and you won’t even know it’s happening to you. So you need to force yourself to respond and defend the self every time that line is crossed. It’s an important act to keep your self esteem high.

You can live without your abuser!

You can love someone who tortures you. There is no control over who you love. But you can be away from those who torture you. That you can control. And as torturous as that can be, to be away from the one you love, it would be more damaging to you to be with him or her.

Take that step to walk away. It might take time to disconnect or disengage. But your spirit will be intact. And you will not have a problem looking in the mirror.

Sometimes even feeling crappy is OK. As long as you get to have moments of unbruised love with the person you are in love with. You feel, those moments will tide you through life. You know what they will. But do you want to? And should you? Should you not want to feel no pain and just be happy?

Google the web and see how many many women live alone, yet lead happy lives. It’s very possible and OK to be alone. You need to get the idea straight. A man who beats you and torments you does not love you. So why would you want to be with someone like that?