Teaching boys to mop the floor!

One of the best way for mothers to imbibe in their sons respect for women is to teach them to do everything that a woman does – cook, clean, shop for vegetable, wash them, stitch clothes, do jhadu or use the broom or mop the floor, wash vessels, pay house bills etc.

Nothing teaches respect for a job, if one has done it too and knows how tedious and painful it is to do it. This may not radically change the character of the son but it will surely make him appreciate the mom more. And appreciate the nature of the work being done everyday. And then its always good to do the house work. It makes the fingers nimble!

Gender equality is not always about teaching girls that they can do a boys job, but also teaching boys that there is no shame in doing a ‘so called’ girls job.

Listen to that small voice in your gut.

Something is not right! Have you felt that about someone’s behaviour towards you. And this person could be someone you trust implicitly. And you will squash that niggling feeling of incredulity- how can I think like that?

But that feeling of doubt which you feel, which your heart cannot comprehend and your brain cites as being illogical, is your body’s way of alerting you to something wrong or unfavourable that could be happening to you.

We believe in the honourableness of people. That, because you have done right by them they will reciprocate. This thinking is setting yourself up for a fall. Because you are viewing someone else’s character based on your behaviour. Which is illogical!

The body has a fantastic alerting mechanism. And should you trust it and disengage from that person, you will find in time, many many instances where you had doubts but you chose to ignore those warnings. While you are tormented by your decision remember this – those who value you, will fight for you. Those who are guilty of duplicitous behaviour towards you, won’t. They will write you off, the second you try to disconnect.

Never fear to take that decision of disengaging. No matter how painful or distasteful. What your being feels is not right, invariably wont be right for you.

This does not mean that you should be on guard all the time. That’s not a great way to live albeit many do. Trying to protect oneself from being hurt is a double edged sword. To be guarded is to be safe but that does not allow one to experience the depths of one’s life.

The most crucial takeaway from a betrayal is that one has lived. And it teaches you a lot of things if you keep your heart and mind open. Trust is never a thing to be given. It’s a process. Crappy things allows one to fix that process and channel ones trust in the right direction and towards the right people. Its a very hard way to learn. But that’s life. We must experience the shit to value those who matter.

Don’t get sucked!

There is that story when a pet python cuddles up to its owner and refuses to eat. The owner after much failed effort to feed it, takes that snake to a vet. The vet after careful examination and questions offers this diagnosis to the owner – the snake was not cuddling, the snake was sizing the owner up to see how long it will take the snake to digest him. That’s why he did not eat. The owner was like a buffet meal!

Many so called friends hang around you, engage with you, only to exploit you and your abilities. One has to be very careful about people like one in the story. They do exist. And their only aim is to build their life by sucking out yours!

The Family Photo

Pictures tell such wonderful stories. Especially your ‘family’ photo. Lots can be read about one’s interpersonal relationships with those in the pix by the sheer photo composition, body language etc. You may be telling a fabulous story about your life to people. But your pictures tell your reality. :)  The one that you acknowledge only in private or perhaps dare not, even to yourself or that which you are completely unaware of!

Nothing indecent about pictures of a terror attack

Photo Copyright : Ketevan Kardava

Photo Copyright : Ketevan Kardava

Many are complaining that this photograph of Nidhi Chaphekar, is indecent. Yet I can’t see anything but that she is a victim of a recent terror attack at the Brussels International Airport. I don’t see her nakedness or her torn clothes. I see her as someone who is shocked out of her wits and wondering what the hell just happened.

For photographers, it’s capturing that one second in a frame. These pictures just happen. The photographer of this picture Ketevan Kardava was also a victim of the terror attack.  And as a photojournalist, her first instinct was to capture historical evidence of the attack via photographs. And these pictures need to be documented so that we can see the bastardly-ness of the attack that has taken place.

These pictures are not opportunistic. They are part of history. And she is fully covered. There nothing indecent about it. If you think the picture is indecent because you can see her tummy or something else, then I think you have a very myopic view of what you are seeing.

Some asked me, how would I feel, if it was my picture instead. And that really has no argumentative validity. It just does not cut ice. But if I had to answer, once I was back home. I would think – thank god I am alive and been given a second chance at life. And I am sure Nidhi would be  thinking the same.

Language is used to exclude

Language in India is used to exclude, as a political tool. Not to improve communication. Try getting your work done in a language that you don’t speak or can’t read or write. Not possible, easily.

By demanding all government paperwork needs knowledge of local language, a fantastic layer of brokers and facilitators is created who increase costs.

Simplify and people in power will lose huge sources of revenue!

Know your mess

Knowing your mess or what is the level of the mess you live in or are in is the first step towards fixing it. We have all kinds of things in our house, not because we need it, but because we have space for it. I have things from a decade back, because I think I will use it when I do a specific thing or reach a target etc. And yet in the back of my mind, the long loop of why I am holding onto this something is not making sense to me.

A while back I got my family to give up a lot of things that I thought we can do without and someone else can use it. And every time I have cleaned up or reduced the mess or clutter, I have found something that I can use. Last time I found a packet containing about Rs 4,500 stuck inside an envelope that was inside another bundle of papers that was inside another envelope.

And that’s the reason why you should know your mess. Or you should know the status of things in your life. Not to fix it always, but atleast to know, how not to repeat a mistake or perhaps what if any could you salvage from that mess.

Financial freedom is few ruppees at a time. Every time you evaluate where you are at a point in your life, you will be in better control of it. Not that you won’t be in a mess, but that you will know exactly what your mess is all about. And that knowledge itself is the first step towards freedom.

Money

The thing about money is that its an enabler. It does define your networth, but not your selfworth. Its the worst tool to judge a person’s character. A fool without money is a poor fool. A fool with money is a richer fool, but a fool nonetheless. Money does not change a person’s character, it enhances it.