For a daughter who deals with an abusive mother at 40.

The thing about taking care of a mother who calls you a bitch and a whore is that as an adult you still cannot believe that it’s your mom who is saying this to you. And that while you are taking care of her and ensuring she is fine, paying your bills, taking care of your own married family, it really does not matter to your mom because deep down she believes you owe her. That the world has done her wrong and the world owes her.

You cannot run from your duty, because that will haunt you. So what do you do? Close your eyes and ears and pretend it’s a dirty job to be done. Just like you have to take a bitter pill every day? That’s how.

The idea that somehow you can do this would seem herculean. But it’s very possible to disconnect the child from yourself and just be one adult taking care of a, well, a horrible person. Perhaps who herself maybe dealing with her own demons.

But your’s is not to fix her demons, but to survive her. And lead your life and the only thing you can do is shut your ears to the filth and do the best you can. Whatever you can.

Her destiny is not your doing. She is responsible for her own fate. So do what you can and don’t judge yourself. Ever.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s